Breaking Down Her Walls Read online

  “It’s not really anything big. I used to help one of my friends out…He was a private investigator. Sometimes he needed bait.”

  “Bait?”

  Julia picks up a fry and nibbles on it. “Y’know, like, be the girl that gets hit on at the bar by the married man that’s not supposed to be out cheating on his wife.”

  “I’m sorry, what?”

  “Look, it’s not a big deal. It was just a job.”

  “Miss Finch—”

  “Please, call me Julia.”

  “Are you…I mean…are you okay?”

  Julia fights the instinct to clam up and looks at Elena across the dingy booth table. Their eyes lock. It would be so easy to get lost in those dark eyes of Elena’s and just let go of everything. “Keep it professional, Miss Bennett.” The words come out how Julia intended, but she sounds so small, and it shocks her.

  “Professional doesn’t mean heartless.”

  “Doesn’t it?” Julia can tell Elena is holding her breath. She sees the breath release through Elena’s nose.

  “I just don’t want to get hurt.”

  “Why would you get hurt?” There’s a shift in the air surrounding them. Julia needs Elena to answer the question, but she can feel Elena’s tension, the way her shoulders have raised and her neck muscles have tightened. “Hey,” Julia says quietly. Elena blinks, once then twice, and Julia smiles. “Can you walk in heels?” And just like that, Elena’s shoulders visibly relax, and she releases the breath she was holding, and the air seems lighter once more.

  “Well, yeah. But I haven’t had to in a really long time.”

  “Haven’t you been out or anything? Where you had to dress up?”

  “In my life? Yes. Lately?” Elena shakes her head. “No.”

  Julia shoves a fry into her mouth when she sees that same tension sneak back into Elena’s shoulders. “It’s overrated anyway,” she says, talking around the food in her mouth. “I mean, who wants to be all flawless and clean? Not me!”

  “Don’t get me wrong. I like being clean. I just never do much outside of the ranch.”

  Julia tries her hardest to not imagine Elena in something other than cowboy boots and jeans. She always looks like a cowgirl, with messy hair and dusty boots on, and now that straw hat. It’s not a bad look. In fact, it’s so attractive Julia has a hard time concentrating most of the time around Elena, but…A dressed-up Elena? Julia’s cheeks burn at the thought, and the temperature in the diner feels like it’s 110 degrees. “Well, maybe we can hang out one night outside the ranch,” she finally replies.

  “Oh? You think I’d want to do that?”

  “I mean, no, probably not. But you could shower or something. You kind of smell.”

  The loud laughter that spills from Elena’s mouth is so endearing that Julia’s heart aches. Elena tilts her head. “There’s a child trapped inside you, I just know it.”

  Julia laughs through the uncomfortable moment. “Duh.” She watches Elena take a long drink of her water and continue eating, moving the lettuce around on her plate. Elena does not need to be eating a salad. Her figure is amazing, and as hard as she works, she probably burns more calories in a day than most people do in a week.

  Elena lifts her head and eyes Julia’s fries before looking at her. “Do you know that guy over there?” Elena points toward the back of the restaurant.

  Julia swivels around without even thinking. “Where?”

  “Oh, you must have missed him.”

  Julia turns back around and shakes her head when she sees Elena chewing rapidly and the fry basket definitely missing a couple fries. “Oh, really?”

  “Yeah, strangest thing.” Elena smiles and shrugs.

  “And I’m the child?”

  “If the boots fit.”

  Julia pushes her basket of fries toward the middle of the table, lifts her eyes to look at Elena’s, and smiles. “Would you like some more?”

  After her cheeks redden, Elena reaches over and takes a couple more. “Thanks,” she says quietly before munching away.

  Julia notices the easy way Elena moves, the softness of her skin, the tan line along her middle finger where a ring would reside. It’s freaking Julia out slightly. Being taken aback by everything Elena does or says is becoming really hard to deal with. Even the way Elena breathes is intriguing. Julia did not want to get this tangled up with anyone in this godforsaken town. Especially her temperamental boss who is, of course, turning out to be a really nice person under that tough exterior. But now all Julia wants is more, more, more. The want is going to become a need unless Julia puts a stop to it. She normally spends every moment of her life avoiding conversation, dodging relationships, and refusing to settle down. But now? All she wants is to know why Elena’s eyes are so sad, why that tension in her shoulders appeared, and what can she do to fix it all.

  When the two women finish their meals and another basket of fries, Julia snatches up the bill on the table. Elena tries to protest, but Julia glares at her and mumbles about a new horse and really?

  “I get to leave the tip, then,” Elena says sternly. Julia relents when she sees the way Elena’s eyes seem to say don’t fucking push me on this.

  “Fine.”

  The two women leave the restaurant. After checking on Leia, who seems more than comfortable in the very nice trailer, they hop into the truck and take off.

  * * *

  Unloading and getting Leia acquainted with the stall that Elijah put the finishing touches on is a breeze. Elena comments more than once that this horse has been the easiest to transport since getting Sweetie. Apparently, Sully kicked the side of the old trailer so hard that they had to buy a new one. “He has some temperament issues that only Penn could deal with.” Elena scrunches her face, and Julia is happy she can still see the expression in the light from the moon. “Kind of why we were shocked he let you approach him.”

  “So, you basically let me walk up to a horse that was spooked, and I could have died. Awesome.”

  “No better way to learn,” Elena says with a tired smile. “And you did beautifully.”

  As they approach the sidewalk that leads up to Julia’s cabin, she wonders if this shift in Elena’s mood will be permanent or if tomorrow she’ll go back to hating Julia. She glances over at Elena; her hat is off and around her neck with the string, and her shirt is unbuttoned farther now than it had been earlier, which makes Julia’s stomach flip. “Thank you,” Julia says. “It was an amazing day.”

  “Tomorrow, you ride. So, get some sleep. We will go check on the cattle.” Elena extends her hand for Julia to shake. “Really great getting to know you today,” she says and then adds, “Julia.”

  Julia’s voice snags in her throat, and she feels her entire body start to burn. She smiles, takes Elena’s hand, and shakes it. “Likewise, Miss Bennett.”

  “Elena.”

  Julia blinks rapidly in response as Elena smiles and shrugs.

  “Might as well,” Elena says.

  Julia still hasn’t let go of Elena’s hand when she says, “It’s nice to meet you, Elena.”

  “Go get some rest.”

  Julia watches Elena start to walk away, and their hands finally pull apart. She wants to keep watching, but she knows better than to stare for too long, so she heads up to the cabin. After she unlocks the door, she turns around and sees Elena glance back over her shoulder and throw up a hand to wave good-bye again.

  “Jesus,” Julia whispers when she gets inside the cabin. She leans against the door, closing it firmly, and sighs. The day went way better than it was supposed to. And now, when she closes her eyes, all she can see is Elena’s teary-eyed smile and the way she was clutching at her own heart, and it makes Julia feel woozy in a way that has never happened before.

  Does that mean what she thinks it’s starting to mean?

  She pushes off the door and walks into the kitchen, flipping on lights as she goes, when there’s a faint knock at the door. “Who is it?” she yells as she rounds the c
orner and sees Elijah standing there with a six-pack of PBR and a smile. She opens the screen door and laughs.

  “She didn’t kill you.” Elijah holds a beer up for Julia.

  “No, she didn’t,” Julia says as she walks outside on the small porch with Elijah and graciously accepts the can of PBR. They both sit down on the wooden steps, sigh in unison, and crack open their beers.

  “How was it?”

  Julia takes a very long pull from her beer. She gathers her thoughts and then looks over at Elijah. “It was insanely weird.”

  “What? Why?” he asks, looking out at the ranch. He doesn’t have his hat on, and his hair has seen better days. There’s an obvious tan line on his forehead, and it makes Julia smile.

  “I cried. Like a baby.”

  “Oh, that’s normal.” Elijah waves her off as if he’s seen worse. “Julia, this horse will be the one you are responsible for. If you didn’t feel a connection to it, then it’s not the horse for you. Understand?”

  “I know, but…” Julia’s voice trails off. “I just, I’ve never even had a dog or a cat before. And now, now I have a horse! Every little girl dreams of getting a pony, and now I have one. It just feels so strange, like I don’t deserve it.”

  Elijah glances over at Julia and nudges her with his elbow. “You know that’s not weird at all. I’m glad you see how big this is. Elena doesn’t share these moments with just anyone. That’s why I’m so shocked that you think she hates you.”

  “I kind of don’t think that anymore.”

  “Oh, really?”

  “Yeah,” Julia replies, ducking her head and trying to hide her excitement. “We talked today. A lot.”

  “And?”

  Julia looks over at Elijah, then turns again to look across the property at the log cabin. The curiousness inside her is really revving itself up. The feeling sits on her chest. “She’s deep, isn’t she?”

  Elijah chuckles and a simple mm-hmm comes out of him.

  “I didn’t realize how much pain is there.” Julia waits a second before she says, “She brought up Gloria.”

  “Wow.”

  “Is that not normal?”

  Elijah shakes his head. “She never talks about Gloria unless it’s to Cole.”

  “Were she and Penn together?”

  “City Girl, you’re gonna have to ask Elena about that one eventually if you really want to know.”

  Julia sighs, looks up at the night sky, and asks, “Has she ever asked a worker to call her Elena?”

  “Not that I know of, except for Caroline. And Caroline and she have known each other for years.” Elijah leans into her briefly, nudging her. “Maybe now you can be positive that she likes you.”

  “Yeah, I guess.”

  Elijah goes to stand up but snaps another beer from the six-pack holder and looks at Julia. “She’s obviously warming up to you, so take my advice and don’t screw it up.”

  “Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence.”

  “Well, I saw it happen once before. Saw her get close to someone and then saw that person fuck it up. And the aftermath wasn’t fun for anyone involved. Especially Elena.”

  “Why do I get the feeling that you’re talking about Penn?”

  Elijah sighs, takes a drink from his freshly opened beer, and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. “Because.” He glances over each shoulder. Is he checking to make sure no one snuck up behind him? Who knows? He looks back at Julia and lowers his voice to say, “I am talking about that asshole, so, Julia? Don’t fuck it up.”

  Chills shoot up Julia’s spine. “I won’t.”

  “Good. Now go get some rest. I’m sure Elena will want you up and at ’em early.”

  “Okay, boss. I guess we’re going to ride to see the cattle tomorrow.”

  “Well, then, go. Sleep. Your first day riding won’t be easy.” He walks away from her, kicking up dirt as he walks. “Don’t forget to wear your boots, for shit’s sake,” he shouts and then laughs at himself.

  “Funny!” Julia watches him walk away. She doesn’t really know what to do with the information she just learned. The only thing she knows for sure is that she’s already nervous to see Elena in the morning. How is she going to sleep with all the questions and thoughts running through her head? She honestly has no idea. And really? She’s not sure she wants to know the answers right now.

  Chapter Seven

  Julia pops out of bed way before her alarm clock goes off in the morning. The sun hasn’t risen yet, and the breeze flowing in the window she left cracked all night is cool and crisp. She slept like a rock, getting maybe the first great night’s sleep since she was forced to stop in this town. She gets dressed quicker than she ever has in her life—except the time or two she stole away in the middle of the night after a one-night stand.

  The decision is made fairly fast to wear the other pair of blue jeans that Elena gave her, thinking that the last thing she wants to do is start off on the wrong foot today. Julia still cannot get over how well the jeans fit as she turns and checks out her backside and wonders how in the world Elena guessed her size. She throws on an old Star Wars T-shirt with a TIE fighter shooting its blasters because it’s fitting, considering Leia’s name. She then pulls on a red plaid button-down flannel over the top. She’s not settling into the country routine as much as it seems. It’s just chilly out, and she doesn’t want to get cold.

  At least, that’s what she keeps telling herself.

  Julia slides across the living room hardwood in her socks and into the kitchen, grabbing a banana and a granola bar before she sits on the bench by the door and shoves her feet into her boots. She absolutely hates to admit it, but the damn things never gave her one bit of trouble the day before. Not even a blister, which she knows is rare. They’re leather! They should take a time or two to break them in. But nope. They fit like the pants do—like a dream.

  As she gets outside on the porch, stuffing her ball cap into her back pocket, she realizes she didn’t even check her cell phone. And it strikes her that she hasn’t really looked at it in the past couple of days, and shockingly, it’s so freeing she can barely handle the feeling. It’s been a long time since she wasn’t obsessed with technology and being connected to the world. Surprisingly, it feels really, really good.

  The barn door is locked so she fishes her key out of her pocket, unlocks the padlock, and slides the large door open. The smell of manure and hay and horses hits her hard, but it doesn’t bother her like it did the first time. It kind of excites her now, especially knowing that one of the horses in there belongs to her.

  Her very own horse. It still seems so crazy to have this animal all to herself.

  “Leia,” Julia says softly as she walks up to the horse’s stall. She sees Scout and Jazz stick their heads over their doors, so Julia says hi to both. Leia turns in her stall and immediately puts her head over the door like the others. “Hello there, beautiful girl,” Julia coos, petting along the horse’s jawline and under the chin. Julia giggles like a little kid when Leia whinnies. It’s then that she hears a scuff of boots approaching in the barn. She glances over and sees Elena in her jeans and boots and white button-down, sleeves rolled up as always, and her straw hat hanging from her neck again. Her hair isn’t pulled back, just pushed behind her ears, and the waves look natural and soft. Julia definitely approves. She’s carrying two travel mugs and some sort of baked good.

  “Good morning,” Elena says, her voice deeper than normal. “I brought you a coffee and a banana nut muffin.”

  Julia smiles and accepts the offerings. “Thank you,” she says, eagerly biting into the muffin. “And that’s the best muffin I’ve ever had.” Her mouth is full, but she doesn’t even care. She can’t believe how good it is.

  Elena cocks an eyebrow and says, “Of course it is. I made it.”

  “When the hell did you find time to bake?”

  “Last night.” Elena moves around to the other side of the stalls where the saddles are stored. “I don’
t sleep well.”

  “Ever?”

  “Not in a very long time.” Elena sets her mug down and leans against the stall wall. Her movements are so casual that it’s making Julia a little less nervous, which she’s so thankful for. “I typically bake to relieve stress.”

  “You’re stressed, then?”

  It takes Elena a moment to answer the question, then she motions toward the horse and simply says, “Not after how well this lady traveled.”

  “Then?” Julia doesn’t look over, just continues to keep herself focused on anything but Elena. “Why the baking?”

  “Maybe confused is a better reason than stressed,” Elena says after another annoyingly long pause.

  “Confused?”

  Elena nods, never taking her eyes off Julia. She can feel Elena’s gaze, and her body is so warm from it. Elena sighs, and just like that, the moment is over. “Let’s feed the horses a snack, groom them, and then get a leg over them. Long day ahead of us.”

  Julia glances over at Elena after she hears the change in her tone. “Okay,” she replies, following Elena toward the hay and wheelbarrows. It’ll be the first time they’ve worked side by side, and Julia is kind of nervous. She hopes to God she doesn’t do something stupid. The last thing she wants to do is prove Elijah right and fuck up.

  * * *

  “Grooming a horse before riding is a must. The dirt can irritate their skin, and that is definitely not something we want. Keep in mind, grooming should never feel like a chore.” Elena’s voice is so smooth and sexy as she speaks. She is not only easy to look at but easy to listen to and learn from. Probably more because Julia hangs on Elena’s every word. Either way, Julia does exactly as she’s taught as they both brush down their horses. “You bond with your horse while grooming it. When they trust you, it’s the greatest feeling in the entire world.” Elena glances over at Julia where they’re stationed in the grooming and saddling area in the barn. “And trust between you and your horse? You can’t buy that.”

  Julia catches Elena’s gaze, feels chill bumps spring up on her arms, and she quickly looks away as she continues to run the curry comb in circular motions over Leia’s coat. She transitions from the comb to the stiff-bristled brush and flicks her wrist with ease after each pass, making sure to get any dirt out of the coat. Out of everything she has done on the ranch, grooming the horses has been the most relaxing. She really likes the solitude, being able to just talk to the horses and get to know their little personalities. Or in the case of Sully and Scout, their big personalities. The only horse she hasn’t groomed is Samwise, but that’s because Elena won’t let anyone else do it.