The Road Home Read online

  Lila gasps. “Nicholas!” She slaps him playfully on the arm, but he grabs her wrist and drags her through the crowd. The rest of the customers are glaring, assuming she is cutting in line, and they aren’t wrong. They all have reservations, too, but who cares? She needs to sit down, she needs a drink, and she needs the vodka from their signature Purple Drank to soothe her frazzled self.

  “Hey!” Gwendolyn’s eyes light up. She motions to Nicholas and smiles. “I was going to come get you. Apparently, we have a table already.”

  “Nicholas always has a table for me.” She winks. She actually winks. At Gwendolyn fucking Carter. What the hell has gotten into me? She doesn’t wink. She never winks. At anyone. Let alone the woman she’s dying to kiss again…and lick her neck again…and massage those breasts…and taste her sweet, sweet wetness.

  The temperature in the room has escalated as fast as her dirty thoughts.

  Gwendolyn’s eyebrows raise, and she presses her lips together, then out, before a grin comes to the full pinkness. “I guess it pays to date a celebrity.”

  “No, I’m the one that got us the table. Not you.”

  “You’re who I meant.” Her fingers brush Lila’s arm, and she taps the back of her hand. “I’m not nearly as important as you are.” Her breath is warm against Lila’s cheek.

  The speed at which her panties have been ruined tonight would set a world record.

  * * *

  Gwendolyn has always questioned if she’s an attractive woman. She grew into her looks and understands how to dress and do her makeup. But everything else, she works very hard for. She works out five days a week. She runs. She eats healthy. She always applies an SPF, only uses self-tanner, and she never, ever forgets to wash her face before bed and use anti-wrinkle cream. She is an aging actress in a world full of glamorous up-and-comers. She knows that the second she looks her age is the second she never works again. Or at least, never has the opportunity for another starring role.

  If she ever has the opportunity again.

  The one thing she always wonders is if other people realize that it doesn’t matter what she looks like or how thin she is. She still doesn’t love herself. She never has. And being looked at and fawned over doesn’t help as much as she hoped it would. No one has ever taken the time to get to know what’s under her exterior. And everything about her exterior will fade. Unless, of course, she’s Meryl Streep. And Meryl Streep she is not.

  But Lila Machowicz has made her feel beautiful outside and inside, which is causing a lot to stir in the depths of her soul. It makes her feel a little like a drama queen, but dammit, the way Lila looks at her is maddening. Lila isn’t undressing with her eyes. No. She’s diving deep inside where Gwendolyn’s spirit lies, scared and lonely and completely fragile.

  Her only hope is that Lila handles her with care because she’s never felt so weak before. She’s ready to hand over her entire being, no questions asked, all strings attached. And for once, she isn’t frightened. She hopes her lack of fear isn’t a bad omen.

  Lila, though, is so good. How can anything concerning her be bad? She’s delicate and lovely. Even the way she holds the tumbler full of the ludicrous drink she ordered—some grape nonsense—is graceful. Her shoulders are amazing, and Gwendolyn wonders how she would sound if someone bit her trapezius muscle.

  Stop. Stop, stop, stop. Focus, Gwendolyn. Focus.

  “How was college for you? Where did you go?” She tries to get her mind out of the gutter with a question, one which shouldn’t cause a single fantasy.

  “Purdue. And it was…interesting.”

  “How?”

  “Well.” She glances at the ceiling, seemingly gathering her thoughts. A smile comes to her lips, and she raises her glass as if she’s going to take a drink, but before she does, she laughs and shakes her head.

  “What?”

  “I had my first lesbian encounter in college. Sort of confirmed things for me.”

  And Gwendolyn’s plan is thwarted because the vision of Lila discovering she likes kissing girls is all she can focus on. “Ah.” She takes a generous swallow of her dirty martini while wondering, if I down the whole thing, will I look like a crazy lush?

  “It was a fun time.” Lila grins, her left eyebrow arched. Her hair is pulled away from her face in a French braid, but it isn’t tight, and some strands hang in loose ringlets near her ears. Her bangs are swept to the side, and she keeps reaching up to push them away, a nervous tick. Gwendolyn has pinpointed the tick with surprising accuracy because as Lila starts her next drink, the repetitions dwindle.

  “Care to share?”

  Lila’s eyes widen, and she sets her drink on the table. She clears her throat, leans forward, and the movement causes Gwendolyn to glance at the cleavage her golden top is accentuating so well. “You really want to know?”

  She rips her gaze from Lila’s breasts and locks eyes. “Do people often ask questions they don’t want answers to?”

  “Fair enough.” She moves a hand up to her shoulder muscle, the one Gwendolyn so badly wants to bite, and massages it a couple times, then leaves her hand there. She’s wearing a gold ring on her middle finger, and a gold watch fits snugly around her wrist. She breathes in deeply and lets it out, a shrug following the breath. “She was on the volleyball team. I was a red-shirt, so I had to prove myself. She was kind of like my mentor? I don’t know.” She looks across the restaurant. “She was more butch than I date now. Her hair was short, but she spent more time on it than I did.” She lets out a nervous chuckle. “Her abs were ridiculous. And the way sweat would gather there, in the creases…” Another deep breath. “Woo, is it hot in here?” she asks while fanning herself with the drink menu.

  Gwendolyn laughs. “I’m not sure if I should be jealous or not.”

  Lila’s eyes snap back to hers. “You have nothing to be jealous of.”

  The words aren’t said with ferocity or force, but Gwendolyn feels every single ounce of weight they carry. “Good to know.”

  “Anyway.” Lila leans back, both hands in her lap, and smiles. “She was very gentle our first time. She knew I had never…y’know…before.” She purses her lips. “I don’t really think gentle is how I want it these days.”

  “Oh?” Her voice snags in her throat, and it comes out with a crack.

  Lila chuckles. “Too much?”

  Gwendolyn moves her head back and forth, making sure to never break eye contact.

  “Are we going to make it through dinner?” Lila asks.

  “Not if you keep looking at me like that.”

  “Like what?”

  “Like you want to rip my dress off right here.”

  Lila leans forward. Her movements are so slow, so deliberate; every single thing turns Gwendolyn on more and more. “That is exactly what I want to do.” She places her right elbow on the table, props her chin in her hand, and sighs. The exhale isn’t loud, but it seems to echo inside the cocoon they’ve woven themselves into. “But not here, of course.”

  Gwendolyn can’t fight her laughter. “Well, thank God.”

  “We should probably eat. I mean, we’re going to need the energy. Don’t you think?”

  “Yes. We really are.”

  “Okay, then, we’ll stay.”

  “You sure?”

  Lila laughs. The sound is as lovely as she is. “No, but I’m starving, so let’s talk about something that won’t turn either of us on.”

  “Can I say one thing?”

  “Anything.”

  Gwendolyn smiles. “I’m really glad you’re not as nervous as you were when I picked you up. I thought maybe you were having second thoughts.”

  The makeup doesn’t cover the blush which fills Lila’s cheeks, and she is adorable. “I wasn’t having second thoughts.” She shrugs. “I was nervous to be around you after we made the decision to not give a fuck about the stupid line we weren’t going to cross. You’re pretty incredible and…” She stops, and it gives Gwendolyn pause, but her eyes fill with tea
rs. She blinks rapidly and looks at her lap.

  “What is it?”

  “I haven’t felt like this about someone in a really long time.” She uses her napkin to dab the corners of her eyes. “You worry me a little.”

  She’s not sure exactly what to say to calm any fears because truthfully, she understands. She’s in the same boat romantically, and emotionally, she’s dealing with a sick mother and a dad who’s showing his true colors, so she gets it. “How about we make a deal?”

  Lila looks back up. “What sort of deal?”

  “If at any moment this becomes too much for you or me, we say something. Like a safe word. Any word whatsoever. But we both know that when the word is said, we have to take a step back and let the other person figure her shit out.”

  Lila tilts her head to the side. “Hmm…okay. I like that.”

  “Good. What should our word be?”

  “Funny or serious?”

  “Funny. Don’t you think?”

  Lila nods. “How about dingo?”

  “Dingo?” Gwendolyn laughs. “I think I can remember that.”

  “Dingo it is then.” Lila raises her glass. “To our safe word.”

  Gwendolyn mimics her and clinks their glasses together. “May we never have to use it.”

  “Agreed.”

  Even though the pact is supposed to calm Lila’s fears, whatever they may be, Gwendolyn feels as if all it did was doom them. She hopes she is wrong. After all, what could possibly come between them now?

  Chapter Fifteen

  Lila is fairly sure her front door leaves a huge dent as it slams into the wall. But when Gwendolyn picks her up, she wraps her legs around Gwendolyn’s waist and makes sure it swings shut.

  “Bedroom?”

  “Down the hall… Jesus…are you really strong enough to carry me?”

  Gwendolyn laughs into their kisses. “Yes.”

  “Fuck, that’s hot.” Lila is amazed at the strength, both mentally and physically. She isn’t small. She’s five-foot-seven and sadly, ten pounds heavier than she should be. She’d like to think it’s all muscle, but what can she say? She’s an emotional eater, and lately? Emotions have been running very high.

  Gwendolyn finds her bedroom, and within seconds, she is on the bed, Gwendolyn covering her. Gwendolyn’s knee is pressing into her center, and her pants are probably soaked from the anticipation. Gwendolyn fumbles with the clasp on her pants, the side button, the zipper, before she thrusts a hand into Lila’s panties. Her fingers find Lila’s clit with ease, and she works it softly at first, then increases the speed and intensity as Lila gets closer to the edge. Gwendolyn is kissing her still, tongue dipping into her mouth, teeth biting her lips. It all feels so fucking amazing. Lila can barely focus on which feels best. Oh fuck, who is she trying to kid? The fingers on her clit feel the best.

  And then those fingers slip inside her.

  Never mind. This feels best!

  Lila arches her back, ripping herself away from the kiss as Gwendolyn thrusts into her, hitting every spot just right. Her orgasm approaches at the rate of a high-speed train. “Oh, Gwen, please don’t stop.” But Gwendolyn pulls away, which causes Lila to lift her head. “What are you doing?”

  “Lift your hips.”

  Lila does as told, and Gwendolyn hooks her fingers in the waistband of her pants and panties and yanks them down. She spreads Lila’s legs before taking her two fingers and putting them in her mouth to rewet them.

  “Are you ready?”

  Lila can do nothing but nod. Her mouth is so dry, if she tries to speak, no sound will come out, but she doesn’t want to miss anything that’s happening. She props herself up on her elbows as Gwendolyn bends and places her mouth directly on her, sucking her clit and slipping her tongue inside, and how the fuck have I gone my entire life and never actually watched someone do this to me before?

  “You taste incredible,” Gwendolyn says from between her legs. The statement is so simple, but the way it makes Lila feel in the pit of her stomach almost causes her to weep.

  You can’t cry at the beginning of sex, you asshole. Do not fucking cry.

  Gwendolyn’s fingers replace her tongue. The way she’s thrusting, coupled with the angle, is perfect. She’s hitting a spot Lila’s only read about before. Her orgasm is going to break her back if she doesn’t relax and stop watching as if it’s an episode of her favorite TV show. She spreads out, leans back, places a hand on Gwendolyn’s head and finally lets the orgasm take her. It rips through her from the tips of her toes to the top of her head, and the moan she makes is a sound she never even realized she could utter.

  Gwendolyn’s movements slow when Lila’s hips come off the bed, but as soon as she returns to the mattress, Gwendolyn starts to flick her again, faster this time, harder. Lila doesn’t want to admit that she has never come twice in a row before because how fucking sad is that? But it’s the truth, and as another orgasm rears its head, she wonders if she’s ever felt so amazing in her entire life. And holy shit, how is she ever going to recover?

  She starts to chuckle after her hips find their way down. Gwendolyn’s slowly pulls out. Lila is sore, and it is the best feeling in the world. She lays her arm across her forehead, her other arm over her eyes, and she continues to laugh.

  “You okay?” Gwendolyn touches her thighs, moving slowly up, up, up.

  “Gwendolyn Carter.” Lila’s words are breathless, and she feels a little embarrassed. “You have ruined me.”

  “Hey,” she says with a laugh. “You’re the one who said you didn’t like it gentle.”

  Lila lifts her head. Gwendolyn is sitting on her knees, her dress disheveled and partly open to expose part of her breasts, her entire stomach, and her red panties, and her lips and chin are glistening with Lila’s wetness. She is breathtaking. “You are so fucking sexy.”

  Gwendolyn moves slowly, pulling at the thin tie at the side of her dress until it comes loose. She slides the black material off her shoulders and tosses it away. Lila cannot take her eyes away, and as Gwendolyn reaches behind herself, the bra unsnaps, goes slack, and Lila licks her lips. She’s been dying to see Gwendolyn’s breasts since the moment she laid eyes on her. She hated herself before for feeling this way, but now? Now all she wants to do is get them in her hands and put her mouth all over them.

  Gwendolyn must know because she’s taking her time, which is erotic as fuck and frustrating as hell. She slides each strap slowly down her arms until the entire bra falls away.

  Lila finds the will to sit up. She places her hands on Gwendolyn’s full, round breasts. They’re the same lightly tanned color as the rest of her, and the nipples are dark pink. Her areolas are small. Lila moves her thumbs over each nipple until they stand firm and erect. She places her mouth over one and pinches the other one lightly as she bites down. The moan she’s met with is enough to cause the heat between her legs to skyrocket again.

  All of a sudden, Gwendolyn’s hands are pulling at the hem of Lila’s shirt. “You need to take this off.” Her words are forceful again. “I don’t want to be the only naked one.”

  “You still have your panties on,” Lila says but is silenced by her shirt as it pulls over her head. Within seconds, her bra comes undone. Gwendolyn waggles her eyebrows, and Lila laughs because she is so sexy and gorgeous. How did she get so lucky?

  Gwendolyn pushes her back again. Kneeling, she hooks her thumbs into the waistband of her red lace panties and pushes them over her hips, thighs, to her knees, and gracefully takes them off one leg at a time. She is completely bare, and if there was anything else Lila wanted to know aside from the way her breasts look naked, it was if she was bare or not.

  “There,” she whispers as she straddles Lila’s hips.

  “You’re so beautiful.” Lila barely recognizes her own voice. She’s so enamored with Gwendolyn Carter. Everything about Lila is changing, from the way she thinks and acts to the way she sounds while aroused. It makes no sense, but God, it feels so good to let go and be
who she always hoped to be.

  “Tell me, Lila Machowicz.” Gwendolyn places her hands on either side of Lila’s arms, her hair falls over her shoulders, and her breasts are inches from Lila’s face. “What do you want me to do to you?”

  “I thought it was your turn.” Lila runs her hands from Gwendolyn’s hips up her sides until her hands are once again on Gwendolyn’s breasts. The rhythm Gwendolyn finds as she straddles Lila’s hips is causing another orgasm to build within her center. “Gwendolyn, you’re…fuck…”

  Gwendolyn presses her lips against Lila’s ear. “You don’t get me until I’ve had my fill of you.”

  And as frustrating as it is, Lila knows there’s no fighting the feeling building within her. She has no problem letting Gwendolyn have her way. Because when the tables turn, and oh, they will turn, Lila will make sure she is loved just as hard.

  * * *

  Gwendolyn has no idea how long she’s been asleep when she opens her eyes. The room is dark, and she reaches to feel Lila in the bed. She’s on her stomach, pillow tucked under her bare shoulder, and her entire back exposed. Her skin is flawless, not even a freckle, and she has a tan line across the middle. She places a hand on Lila’s back, draws a line across the tan with her fingernail. She hears Lila’s soft, “Mmm,” and smiles.

  “You’re awake?”

  “Yes.” Lila lifts her head a tiny amount, and her eyes slide open. “You passed out before I did, y’know.”

  “No way.”

  Lila chuckles as her head hits the pillow again. “I swear. I was all ready to show you what I’m made of, and the next thing I knew, you were snoring.” Her words are mumbled against the pillow.

  “You could have woken me up,” she says as she scoots closer to Lila’s incredible body heat.

  “I tried to, my dear. You were O-U-T.”

  She places a leg over Lila’s body, across her ass. “Well, I’m awake now,” she says as she presses her center into Lila’s hip.

  Lila’s head pops up from the pillow. “Shit. What are we waiting for?”